


we, like two artificial gods, have with our needles created both one flower

by two_drama_nerds_in_a_boat



Category: Lumberjanes
Genre: Angst, Character Study, F/F, Gen, Introspection, Molly is Big Sad, NO FLUFF FOR YOU, a fic where we watch molly try to wrap her head around the linear nature of time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:08:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23092336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/two_drama_nerds_in_a_boat/pseuds/two_drama_nerds_in_a_boat
Summary: She tries to make the summer last forever, though she knows it cannot be so.
Relationships: Mal/Molly (Lumberjanes)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	we, like two artificial gods, have with our needles created both one flower

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this 'cause I wanted to write it but then it was okay enough to post??? Google Docs be wilding.

She tries to make the summer last forever, though she knows it cannot be so. 

She could use all of the magic in the forest. In the world. Molly knows it won’t do anything. A part of her knows, at least. Somewhere, the back of her mind, there’s a voice whispering -  _ It won’t do anything. You want it to, dear. You want it to work. You want to stay here forever, where it’s safe and warm and everyone’s kind, and you can love Mal without worrying about people not loving you, and you have friends who care about you no matter what. You want to stay here, forever, but you can’t. None of this magic will work, in the end.  _

But there’s another voice, inside of her, calling from her heart. This one only says one thing -  _ What if it does work, though?  _

And that’s really all she ever needs. 

Molly will admit, it’s gotten them into trouble before. But never anything they couldn’t get out of. Plus, it’s always been fun. What’s life without a little risk? A little adventure? She tells herself that all of these things she’s done, all of these little reckless escapades, all of these journeys into the forest at night, trying to slow down time… well, she tells herself they’re healthy. Normal. 

She ignores the fact that she’s obsessing over the idea of an impossible future. 

She ignores the fact that if she ever succeeds, she’ll be doing more harm than good. 

She tries not to think about the voice in her mind, telling her a great many things, most of them just translating to -  _ No. It’s too dangerous. It won’t work.  _

She tunes into the voice that comes from her heart, the one fueled by a love for camp, a love for summer, a love for the Roanokes, a love for Mal. She listens to the voice that tells her she’s right. It’s the only voice she wants to hear. 

When she’s not trying to slow down time, Molly spends her days cataloguing it. Making sure she never forgets. She spends her time making notes of everything. She’ll be sitting by the campfire, and she’ll make a mental list of every person sitting there, laughing with her, singing off-tune camp songs, trying to make s’mores. She’ll be cuddling with Mal and she’ll force herself to memorize every feeling she has, every sensation - the smell of Mal’s hair, the softness of her hands, the steady rhythm of her breathing. 

When she first arrived at camp, Molly thought it was crazy, a little obsessive, even, what April did with her notebook. How she wrote down everything even mildly interesting that happened (oftentimes it was just notes on how beautiful Jo was, or on the state of the food in the mess hall - “…the eggs were a little bit golden today… possible we accidentally ate Phoenix eggs… try not to think about it…”) but now, she understands. April wants to remember everything. Molly wants to remember everything, too, although probably for slightly different reasons. April wants to remember things so that when she meets up with Jo, or maybe even the others, later, she’ll have things to talk about. Fond memories to look back on and laugh over. Molly wants to remember things because she knows that once she goes back to living with her parents, she’ll never get a taste of this freedom again. 

It’s a subtle difference, to many. But for Molly it’s just reality, always drifting at the edge of her peripheral vision, always there, no matter how good the day is. It haunts her. This idea of impermanence. 

So every night around the campfire, she holds on to Mal tighter. 

Every time she sees Mal smile, she files it away in her memories, in a small manilla folder that says ‘Never Forget’.

She knows she can’t make this last forever, so she tries the next best thing.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> That's All Folks!
> 
> (if you were wondering about the title it's from 'A Midsummer Night's Dream')


End file.
